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ANTIQUATED NEWS: Sharks sign SS Bobby Rayburn to
summer contract. Linenberber pissed...
SHARKS LOSE TWO STRAIGHT TO !*#$*!@*#$ WIGNALL MARKETING
OLATHE, Kan.--The Kansan Sharks !*#$!*$ lost to !*U#$#8 Wignall Marketing on Sunday at !*!#$* Heritage Park. Too upset to
write any more, I shall blow off steam by tampering with Linenberber's brakes. Steam will also be blown off when the "E-mail
of the Week" and "Press Release of the Week" will be updated in the next few days. I'm out...
SHARKS SWEEP AWAY THE SHOCKERS; LINENWEENEY MISSES TWO MORE GAMES. AGAIN. NO,
THIS ISN'T A MISSPRINT. HE ACTUALLY DID MISS TWO GAMES YET AGAIN.
OLATHE, Kan.-In what is becoming a trite ritual in Heritage Park lore, Sharks (former?) catcher Sean Linenberber did
his best Mike Sweeney impersonation and missed two more games -- two Kansan Sharks victories no less -- on Sunday night.
Sweeney,
the Kansas City Royals oft-injured, oft-feeling sorry for himself designated hitter, and Linenberber's careers take on eerily
familiar coincidences. Both players at one time in their careers played catcher and first base, both players are 35 years
old, and both players...wear...jerseys.
Anyway, the Sharks beat down the winless Shockers, Linenberber misses his 118th
career game, and visit http://kansansharks.tripod.com for more information.
HUNTER POUNDED IN GRIFFEY;
PHILLIPS WINS TECMO TITLE
Overland Park, Kan.--Danny Phillips completed his undefeated trek through the Tecmo Bowl I World Championship Tournament,
defeating challenger Chris Wristen in the title game and finishing the tournament 4-0 on Sunday night. The title is the first
for Phillips since 1981, when he won the World "Breakout" Title in the Atari Tri-County Fair Tournament in Spring Hill, Kan.
Phillips was 14 at the time.
Meanwhile, former Spring Hill resident Zac Hunter was upended in the third round of the round-robin Ken Griffey Jr. Baseball
Tournament, finishing in fourth place. Wristen, a first-time Griffey player, finished in third-place despite having
no wins in the tournament because his two team selections (Pittsburgh and Kansas City) had a combined .495 winning percentage
in 1993, the year the game is based. Meanwhile, Hunter's teams (Seattle and Chicago-NL) had a combined .4957 win percentage
that season, which made for an easier path through the tournament.
Shawn Hutchinson beat Andy Sanchez in a best-of-three series and won the Griffey Title.
Oh, and the Kansan Sharks dropped two games to Evolution Audio this weekend, dropping to 6-4 on the season. Visit http://kansansharks.tripod.com for more information.
SHARKS TAKE OUT HUMD DINGERS, VAULT TO 6-2
OLATHE, Kan.--The Kansan Sharks took out the Humb Dingers on Sunday at Heritage Park, improving to 6-2 in
the process. Yada, yada, yada, the Sharks have now won six in a row, and yada, yada, yada, visit http://kansansharks.tripod.com for all your Sharks statistical needs.
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